i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
