Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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