At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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