The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
