nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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