I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
