i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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