Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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