yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
