Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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