I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
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Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
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I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked