I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.