So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
