All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
