I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
