You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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