if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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