i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
