god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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