you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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