There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
