anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You have to summon your inner elephant
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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