Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize