He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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