sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
