Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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