69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
