There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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