My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize