i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
