Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize