And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just forgot I was standing up.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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