either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
only you would photoshop your dick
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize