I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
