are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
ok first of all what the fuck
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
