Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
