Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
