is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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