I hate your face
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
whose parrot is this?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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