I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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