I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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