Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
