Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
