I heard we made out
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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