ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
