Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
