lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
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Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
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I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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