Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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