I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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