In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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