Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Are my feet made of real feet?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize