O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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