whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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