Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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