dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
