A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
